Michigan Cold

I got this in an email from a friend, and it made me laugh out loud. So, here it is for you to enjoy.

+70°F (21°C) and above
Texans turn on the heat and unpack the thermal underwear.
People in Michigan go swimming in the Lakes.

+60°F (16°C)
North Carolinians try to turn on the heat.
People in Michigan plant gardens

+50°F (10°C)
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Michigan sunbathe.

+40°F (4°C)
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Michigan, drive with the windows down.

+32°F (0°C)
Distilled water freezes.
Lake Superior's water gets thicker.

+20°F (-7°C)
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves and woolly hats.
People in Michigan throw on a flannel shirt.

+10°F (-12°C)
Philadelphia landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Michigan have the last cookout before it gets cold.

0°F (-18°C)
People in Miami all die...
Michiganders lick the flagpole.

-20°F (-29°C)
Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Michigan get out their winter coats.

-40°F (-40°C)
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Michigan are selling cookies door to door.

-60°F (-51°C)
Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic.
Michigan Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.

-80°F (-62°C)
Mt. St. Helens freezes.
People in Michigan rent some videos.

-100°F (-73°C)
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Michiganders get frustrated because they can't thaw the keg.

-297°F (-183°C)
Microbial life no longer survives on dairy products.
Cows in Michigan complain about farmers with cold hands.

-460°F (-273°C)
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero in the Kelvin scale).
People in Michigan start saying, "Cold 'nuff for ya?"

-500°F (-296°C)
Hell freezes over.
The Lions win the Super Bowl