Wednesday, January 30, 2008


The bumper sticker is off the car.
The widget is off the blog.

Vanessa asked me last night what it would take for me to vote for McCain. I figured it out. He would have to ask me to be his running mate.


Matthew said...

Come on, Robb. It's just a Presidential election--it's not like it actually matters in the final analysis (everybody knows the real power in this country lies in Congress and the Supreme Court--the President is just there there to distract everybody's attention from the idiots who are really screwing everything up). Chin up!

Look at the bright side. After 8 years of having to listen to everybody whine and moan about Bush, we'll have somebody new to whine and moan about. That's something to look forward to, isn't it? Heck, I'm fully looking forward to shamelessly bellyaching about the gross incompentence and near-infinite stupidity of the next person foolish enough to accept the job of President.

It's not like the fate of the free world is at stake or anything (well, necessarily...). ;-)

The only politicians one should worry and get upset about are the local variety since their policies have the most potential to impact us directly and because they're the only ones we can effectively do anything about (heck, I don't even know the name of the present mayor of Springdale, and he's personally contributed to making my life an orange-colored, living Hell).

Everything is going to be just friggin' spiffy (well aside from that whole peak oil thing). You'll see. :-)

Robb said...

Thanks, Matthew. I knew I could count on you to make me smile. It might be that I haven't slept well lately, but I am actually really bummed about this. You should be pittying Vanessa.

Matthew said...

Glad to be of service; although, I don't know what you're going to do when you finally realize that I'm half-serious about some of the nonsense I spout. ;-)

One additional bonus occurred to me: now that your guy is out of the running, you can sit back, relax, and watch the histrionics and fireworks as other's prize candidates are mercilessly picked apart and shot down. As the movie Highlander teaches us: there can be only one. The entertainment potential is nearly limitless.

Hmm...well, when Ron Paul (I admit that I did kind of like him, but then I scratched the surface a bit more...) finally reads the writing on the wall and gives up, a number of his followers will probably riot, commit mass suicide, have their heads explode, or something, and that will be pretty ugly, but other than that the rest of the process should prove to be fairly entertaining.

I'm curious to see if Hillary will spontaneously combust if she doesn't win the primary. Now THAT would be something to see (I'm not saying it would necessarily be a good thing...but I'm not saying it would be a bad thing either).

Take care, Robb. The Jesus in '08 campaign is the best one I've heard so far.

klasieprof said...

I'm pissed. I'm bummed. I can't stand it.
and Clinton???? AWWCKK make me throw up a LOT in the back of my throat.


'course I live in Michigan and am used to being repressed.

Robb said...

Matthew, again, thanks.

I have had the thought in recent weeks - as Rudy's writing has been on the wall for some time now - that maybe this is a good thing for me. Without a candidate I really love in the race, maybe I will spend much more time and energy on Jesus 08, which might be a better thing in the long run.

Frank Rizzo said...

Look at the bright side you can now sleep at night knowing that God won't condemn you to hell for electing a sodomite supporter. The God of the new testament is the same as the old. God will not show his mercy on those that disobey his commandments.

Robb said...


ness said...

Wow, Frank. He's also the same God that called Pharisees a brood of vipers because they were such self-satisfied, judgmental, rule-obsessed individuals.

What do you really think you will accomplish with your nasty comments?

akr said...

I agree with the clinton gag comment...Robb, you should of ran! I would have voted for you!

Amber said...

As I recall, God also said:

LOVE Me above all.


LOVE your neighbor...

not condemn them to hell.


Baptist pastor from Cleveland said...

Love you neighbor not condemn them to hell? God and Jesus are one and the same and they both love to discipline the wicked for their pleasure. Especially those that support sodomites.

Lot's wife for looking back Gen.19:26, BT 1 1

Er who was "wicked in the sight of the Lord" Gen.38:7, BT 1 2

Onan for spilling his seed Gen.38:10, BT 1 3

Pharaoh and 600 chariot captains (plus his entire army) Ex.14:8-26 601+ 604+

For dancing naked around Aaron's golden calf Ex.32:27-28, 35, BT 3000 3604+

Aaron's sons for offering strange fire before the Lord Lev.10:1-3, Num.3:4, 26:61, BT 2 3606+

A blasphemer Lev.24:10-23, BT 1 3607+

A man who picked up sticks on the Sabbath Num.15:32-36, BT 1 3608+
Korah, Dathan, and Abiram (and their families) Num.16:27, BT 12+ 3620+

Burned to death for offering incense Num.16:35, 26:10, BT 250 3870+

For complaining Num.16:49, BT 14,700 18,570+

For "committing whoredom with the daughters of Moab" Num.25:9, BT 24,000 42,570+

Midianite massacre (32,000 virgins were kept alive) Num.31:1-35, BT 90,000+ 132,570+

God tells Joshua to stoned to death Achan (and his family) for taking the accursed thing. Joshua 7:10-12, 24-26, BT 5+ 132,575+

God tells Joshua to attack Ai and do what he did to Jericho (kill everyone). Joshua 8:1-25, BT 12,000 144,575+

Joshua kills 5 kings and hangs their dead bodies on trees Joshua 10:24-26, BT 5 144,580+

God delivered Canaanites and Perizzites Judges 1:4, BT 10,000 154,580+

Ehud delivers a message from God: a knife into the king's belly Jg.3:15-22, BT 1 154,581+

God delivered Moabites Jg.3:28-29, BT 10,000 164,581+

God forces Midianite soldiers to kill each other. Jg.7:2-22, 8:10, BT 120,000 284,581+

The Spirit of the Lord comes on Samson Jg.14:19, BT 30 284,611+

The Spirit of the Lord comes mightily on Samson Jg.15:14-15, BT 1000 285,611+

Samson's God-assisted act of terrorism Jg.16:27-30, BT 3000 288,611+
The Lord smote Benjamin" Jg.20:35-37, BT 25,100 313,711+

More Benjamites Jg.20:44-46 25,000 338,711+

For looking into the ark of the Lord 1 Sam.6:19 50,070 388,781+

God delivered Philistines 1 Sam.14:12 20 388,801+
Samuel (at God's command) hacks

Agag to death 1 Sam.15:32-33 1 388,802+

"The Lord smote Nabal." 1 Sam.25:38 1 388,803+

Uzzah for trying to keep the ark from falling 2 Sam.6:6-7, 1 Chr.13:9-10 1 388,804+

David and Bathsheba's baby boy 2 Sam.12:14-18 1 388,805+
even sons of Saul hung up before the Lord 2 Sam.21:6-9 7 388,812+

From plague as punishment for David's census (men only; probably 200,000 if including women and children) 2 Sam.24:13, 1 Chr.21:7 70,000+ 458,812+

A prophet for believing another prophet's lie 1 Kg.13:1-24 1 458,813+

God delivers the Syrians into the Israelites' hands 1 Kg.20:28-29 100,000 558,813+

God makes a wall fall on Syrian soldiers 1 Kg.20:30 27,000 585,813+

God sent a lion to eat a man for not killing a prophet 1 Kg.20:35-36 1 585,814+
Ahaziah is killed for talking to the wrong god. 2 Kg.1:2-4, 17, 2 Chr.22:7-9 1 585,815+

Burned to death by God 2 Kg.1:9-12 102 585,917+

God sends two bears to kill children for making fun of Elisha's bald head 2 Kg.2:23-24 42 585,959+

Trampled to death for disbelieving Elijah 2 Kg.7:17-20 1 585,960+
Jezebel 2 Kg.9:33-37 1 585,961+

God sent lions to kill "some" foreigners 2 Kg.17:25-26 3+ 585,964+

Sleeping Assyrian soldiers 2 Kg.19:35, 2 Chr.32:21, Is.37:36 185,000 770,964+

Saul 1 Chr.10:14 1 770,965+

God delivers Israel into the hands of Judah 2 Chr.13:15-17 500,000 1,270,965+

Jeroboam 2 Chr.13:20 1 1,270,966+
"The Lord smote the Ethiopians." 2 Chr.14:9-14 1,000,000 2,270,966+

God kills Jehoram by making his bowels fall out 2 Chr.21:14-19 1 2,270,967+

Ezekiel's wife Ezek.24:15-18 1 2,270,968+

Ananias and Sapphira Acts 5:1-10 2 2,270,970+

Herod Acts 12:23, BT 1 2,270,971+

Robb said...

Hey, baptist pastor from Cleveland, I am going to take a guess here that you are not really a Christian, just some internet guy who likes to rile things up. How long did it take you to google that list?

Matthew said...

Hmm...behold the deafening silence.

I guess it's just sooo much easier to cut and paste something than do a little typing.

Surely "the baptist pastor from cleveland" or Mr. Rizzo can come up with at least one more clever rejoinder, perhaps about how we're all going to Hell? That one is my personal favorite, BTW--I've heard it so many times I sometimes wonder if I'm not there already there (after all Satre informs that "Hell is others.")? What? No orgasmic description about the torments we're sure to face for all eternity? Oh c'mon! Jack Chick would at least give us that.

It's curious that you two are always harping on sodomites: are you compensating for something? Perhaps some "desires" that you have trouble reconciling?

But then maybe you two gentlemen are actually just a pair of trolls or perhaps you're even the same person (it's kind of hard to tell one anonymous yahoo from another). Whatever.

What's it like being a troll? If you don't mind me asking, do you get some sort of sexual gratification when you finally stumble onto somebody who acknowledges you? Are you specifically stimulated by telling people about how God hates sodomites (you do this with such enthusiasm, as if you are thrilled at the prospect) and how practically everybody is going to Hell (except you, of course, as you are perfect in every way), or is just any inflammatory thing that gets a rise out of folks? Does it make up for--oh, I don't know--your mama not giving you enough attention? Is that it? Or does it just make you feel like a big man instead of a worm cowering in anonymity?

Well, if you want to talk about something, by all means, spill your guts. Perhaps, through your eloquence and vast learning you might show us poor souls here the error of our ways (assuming your true intention here is instruction rather than...well...ahem..."gratification"). If nobody else, you have MY undivided attention, poor tedious creature that I am.