So, in the last several weeks, I've had four different conversations with men about how they have no friends. This has gotten several questions about male friendship running through my mind:
How do two men become friends?
What binds men together?
How do male friendships differ from other relationships?
And, ultimately, how I can have more friends?
These are things that are on my mind, but I'm curious what other people. Do any of you have thoughts about male friendships? Any ideas about improving them? Any men willing to join me in saying, I don't have enough friends and I'm not sure what to do about?
Your thoughts are appreciated.
.
5 comments:
My two cents is that it isn't all that much different than a regular friendship; it requires time spent with each other. I'm drawn to folks who have a similar interest and often the time we spend with each other is centered around that interest. The experiences we share together then shape the friendship.
Robb, I think you first have to look at friendship and then dive into male friendship. That being said, I'm going to skip part 1 and go straight to part 2. While I could probably talk for a long time about this, here are just a few thoughts. Look at the image of men that is being sold to us. Need an example? Look at beer commericals, especially the recent "man up" Miller Lite commercials. Completely based on this strong, unvulnerable, manly image. Vulnerability is key to a strong relationship, including friendship. That is one trait that is looked down upon in the common image of a man.
Another common problem with male relationships is competition. The stereotypical male conquests by putting others down and winning. Getting the most women, drinking more, etc. (can you tell I work with college men?). Those traits don't bode well for a genuine relationship.
I can definitely go on. I'll have to get my thoughts together and post agian.
Robb-
Thanks so much for this post...I appreciate when people begin to study the importance of friendship in their own lives.
I am one of the producers of a film (Five Friends movie dot com) on male friendship. We were recently featured in Christianity Today (Google: "Bromance Personified" and look for the Christianity Today article) and are just getting review copies out to folks. I think you might be interested in the subject matter.
P.S. Sorry to post this in your comment section, but I couldn't find an email.
My best to you...and go Broncos!!
Ken
P.P.S. If you're interested, I'd be happy to send you a review copy as well.
Ken
Thanks for the comments, Ken. I'll forgive you for being a Broncos fan. I'd love to check out a review copy of your book. My email is rryerse (at) gmail (dot) com.
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